Italy or Whatever

HEY GUYS I'M IN ITALY.  I don't hate it as much as I thought, mostly because every other person eats gelato (literally) so I feel less terrible about my fat girl lifestyle.  Anyway, so far I've been here for three days and have already found ways to complain.  Here's a list of Florence Problems (you can hashtag them but only if you tag me):

1. Getting run over all the time.  Vespa drivers are cray.
2. Dead pigeons.
3. Live pigeons.
4. Getting crapped on by pigeons as you walk home.
5. Basically anything about pigeons.
6. Is pigeons even a word?  Moving on...
7. Not getting hit on when you go out (AM I UGLY OR SOMETHING?).  It's bringing out all my old middle school insecurities.
8. Not knowing how to flush toilets.
9. They still play Amy Grant in bars.
10. Celsius.
11. How do people always know you're American?
12. Police coming to your school and telling you that thieves know how to climb seven stories and steal all of your belongings.

But other than those minor details, Florence is a wonderful place where you can imagine Renaissance artists convening in piazzas (oh excuse me, that means a "city square" for all you less cultured tools out there) and there are pizza shops on every block.  Also, I've seen lots of gypsies and groups of Asian tourists so consider me satisfied.  

This is me and my biddie-licous roommate Christina.  More on her biddie lifestyle to come (SUCH an inspiration).